ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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