And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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