just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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