Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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