im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
