i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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