Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
