I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
