about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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