New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
