So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
