When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize