Dual....:-)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
