We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
