There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
