we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
