I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
