i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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