They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
