I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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