just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
