don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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