Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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