Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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