idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
