Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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