Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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