I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
