went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
