Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
