i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
