i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
