We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
