i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
