Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i now understand why vodka
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
