if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
