I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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