so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
