it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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