I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
