Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize