This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
