i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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