Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
