waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
