Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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