everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
