I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
