remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
