if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
