and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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