We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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