Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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