So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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