True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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