Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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