Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize