Sponge bath it is.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
