i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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