I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
