its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
