Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize