He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
