Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
