i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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