So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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