I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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