The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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