I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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