How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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