I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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