Me too!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
