i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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