On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
