She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
