I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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