God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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