well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
